Cosmo vs Timmy, This time it's trivial
by BouncingBall
Summary: Wanda comes home to discover Timmy and Cosmo are having the argument to end all arguments. When Wanda tries to find out what happened, both have different ideas on who said what and who started it all.
1. Chapter 1 Chaos at 5,32

I don't own the Fairly Odd Parents! Timmy, Wanda, Cosmo, Timmy's parents and any other character from the show was not created by me. I am just borrowing them for a fun, non profit story. They belong to Butch Hartman!!  
  
Enjoy! Please R&R  
  
Cosmo vs Timmy - The Battle: This time....it's trivial!  
  
Chapter 1 - Chaos at 5:32  
  
[Timmy's room. Cosmo and Timmy are playing videogames as Wanda hovers about them reading a book, its cover reads "Analysing Fairy Behaviour". She is wearing reading glasses and ever so often lets out an "A ha.." or an "I see.." during her reading]  
  
Timmy: Cosmo! Angry, evil gonanatrom, top left! Quick, use your atomic laser!  
  
Cosmo: [pushing every button at extremely high speeds] I don't have an atomic laser! I only have a sabre laser, Oh I never should've traded in the atomic laser for the demolix ray gun! Ahhhh! Run!! Run!!!  
  
Cosmo: Timmy, just go on without me!  
  
Timmy: Never! We'll get through this!  
  
Cosmo: (tears in eyes) Just go....  
  
Timmy: Never fear, Timmy Turner will come to your rescue! [Timmy presses a range of buttons and a sudden blast of truimphant music from the game shows they've won]  
  
Cosmo: Wooooooo! TIMMY'S MY HERO! YAY!!! [singing] We won! We won! We won! We, We, We won!  
  
Wanda: Cosmo, will you keep it down a little?  
  
[Cosmo and Timmy exchange mischevous looks]  
  
Cosmo Timmy: [in unison, louder] We won! We won! We won! We, We, We won!  
  
Wanda: (sarcastic) Yes, very amusing and very clever. (matter of factly) You know it says here that maybe you two use teasing me to cover up any insecurities you have about yourselves.  
  
[Cosmo and Timmy look at each other, obviously extremely confused]  
  
Timmy: Or...it's just fun to get you mad!  
  
Cosmo: And easy too!  
  
[They high five burst into fits of giggles as Wanda rolls her eyes, obviously not impressed]  
  
Wanda: It's soooo obvious it's your insecurities.  
  
[They ignore her and carry on playing the game]  
  
Cosmo: Hey Timmy, I got a joke! What's pink and fluffy?  
  
Timmy: (thinks) Uhhh...Cotton Candy?  
  
Cosmo: Close, but No! Pink fluff! OK, What's green and fluffy?  
  
Timmy: Green fluff!  
  
Cosmo: Close again, but no! It's pink fluff in disguise!  
  
[Timmy looks at Cosmo for a second before they both burst into hysterics for what seems like hours]  
  
Wanda: Now come on, that stupid joke wasn't even funny!  
  
Timmy: (wipes a tear from his eye) Wanda, I'm 10! Stupid jokes are hilarious!  
  
Cosmo: (holding his sides) Yeah, and although I'm a few years older than Timmy, I'm still in touch with my inner child!  
  
Wanda: (laughs) Ha! Try a few THOUSAND years older than Timmy!  
  
Cosmo: (hurt) Wanda, you know I'm sensitive about my age!  
  
Timmy: You know what would make you feel better, Cosmo?  
  
Cosmo: What?  
  
Timmy: VIDEO GAMES!   
  
Cosmo: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  
  
Wanda: Ha, men, so easy to please!   
  
[The same blast of truimphant music is heard from Timmy's games console]  
  
Cosmo: We win again! YAY!!!!! We've been playing this game for hours, and I'm not even a little bit tired of it! I'm so easy to please!  
  
Wanda: (deadpan) I rest my case.  
  
Cosmo Timmy: [singing] We won! We won! We won! We, We, We won!  
  
Wanda: Don't you get tired of that song? You've sung it about 72 times in the last hour...! Not that I'm counting....  
  
Timmy: No way! Me and Cosmo never get bored! We're best buddies! We play video games, have belching contests, eat junk food and discuss important issues!  
  
Wanda: (pleased) Really? What kinda issues?  
  
Timmy: Crimson chin comics, issues 5-500.  
  
Wanda: (frowns) Why didn't I see that coming?  
  
Cosmo: We also do great impressions of Wanda behind her back!  
  
Wanda: What was that?  
  
Timmy: Uh...He said "late expressions I'm fond of I often lack".  
  
Wanda: (suspicious) Cosmo said that? Doesn't sound like something he would say!  
  
Timmy: Yeah it does, I mean did that sentence actually make sense?  
  
Wanda: (thinks) No it didn't actually...Hey, I guess he did say it! Well boys, I have to run a few errands in Fairy World, can I trust you two not to get into too much trouble?  
  
[Cosmo and Timmy are oblivious to Wanda, they're too deeply involved in their game]  
  
Wanda: No...I shouldn't worry. I highly doubt you'll even move from this spot....  
  
[Wanda poofs out]  
  
Cosmo: Timmy, thanks for covering for me back then! If Wanda found out about my impressions she'd pull off my head, and then she'd kill me!  
  
Timmy: That's OK Cosmo, that's what buddies are for!  
  
Cosmo: You bet! We're such good friends, I don't think that will ever change. It's not we'll have a stupid fight over something trivial which leads to us not talking and hating the sight of each other!  
  
Approx. 13.7 seconds later......  
  
Cosmo: (shouting) AHHHHH! WE'RE HAVING A STUPID FIGHT OVER SOMETHING TRIVIAL WHICH WILL LEAD TO US NOT TALKING AND HATING THE SIGHT OF EACH OTHER!  
  
Timmy: (shouting back) DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!  
  
Cosmo: (still shouting) HEY, STOP YELLING!  
  
Timmy: (still shouting back) NO, YOU STOP YELLING!  
  
Cosmo: YOU!  
  
TIMMY: NO, YOU!  
  
Cosmo: YOU!  
  
Timmy: NO.....YOU!  
  
Cosmo: NO....(pauses) HEY! YOU MADE ME LOSE MY TRAIN OF THOUGHT!  
  
Timmy: NO REAL SHOCKER THERE!  
  
Cosmo: Shut up LITTLE man!  
  
Timmy: I'd rather be little than STUPID!  
  
Cosmo: [hides face and starts to cry] Owwww! You hit a nerve...  
  
Timmy: (genuinely regretting it) Oh Cosmo I didn't mean to -  
  
Cosmo: [reveals his face, he's not really crying] HA! GOTCHA! You say I'M the stupid one?!  
  
Timmy: YOU ARE THE STUPID ONE!  
  
[Wanda appears]  
  
TIMMY: STOP YELLING AT ME!  
  
COSMO: STOP YELLING BACK AT ME!  
  
WANDA: (screams) BOTH OF YOU STOP YELLING!  
  
[Cosmo and Timmy fall silent. They are nose to nose and baring teeth, both EXTREMELY angry]  
  
Wanda: What is the meaning of this? Why are you arguing?!  
  
Timmy: He started it!  
  
Cosmo: Did not!  
  
Timmy: Did to!  
  
Cosmo: Did not!  
  
Timmy: Did to!  
  
Wanda: OK...SHUT UP! Well someone please tell me what's going on?! You were getting on so well before I left!  
  
Timmy: Maybe it's our hidden insecurities finally being revealed to us in the form of a confrontation to someone else, but really we're confronting our own insecurities with   
  
ourselves. We're just using the argument to blame someone else for every negative thought we have in our heads.  
  
[Cosmo and Wanda stare blankly at Timmy]  
  
Timmy: I mean...HE STARTED IT!  
  
[Wanda clamps her hand over Cosmo's mouth before he can reply]  
  
Cosmo: All I know is, Timmy is a jerk, and he's mean. He's just a...a...jerky meanie.  
  
Timmy: (sarcastically) Ohh I'm shaking in my boots.  
  
[Cosmo raises his wand and Timmy falls to the ground]  
  
Timmy: (angrily) Owww...you knocked me off my feet!  
  
Cosmo: (sweetly) Whoopsie, wand slipped!  
  
[Timmy narrows his eyes and gets ready to pounce. Cosmo sticks her tongue out, mocking him. Wanda grabs Cosmo's wand and holds Timmy back]  
  
Wanda: OK...until one of you decides to tell me what happened, Cosmo, go to the fish bowl Go!  
  
[Cosmo opens his mouth to argue but Wanda's fierce glare warns him otherwise. Defeated, he poofs himself into his fish form and pouts to himself. Timmy begins to laugh at his expense]  
  
Timmy: Haha! Pushed around by your own wife!  
  
Wanda: (angrily) I haven't finished yet. Timmy, go to bed!  
  
Timmy: But...but...it's 5.32pm!  
  
Wanda: I said....GO....TO....BED! NOW!!!!!!!!  
  
Timmy: (timidly and urgent to agree) Yes Wanda.  
  
Wanda: (to herself) What was that all about?  
  
To be continued!  
  
You like, R&R por favor! I'll write more when I get reviewed! 


	2. Chapter 2 Morons Say What

I don't own the Fairly Odd Parents! Timmy, Wanda, Cosmo, Timmy's parents and any other character from the show was not created by me. I am just borrowing them for a fun, non profit story. They belong to Butch Hartman!!  
  
Enjoy! Please R&R  
  
Cosmo vs Timmy - The Battle: This time....it's trivial!  
  
Chapter 2 - Morons Say What  
  
[Timmy gets out of bed and smiles to himself, Saturday = no school! And because Crocker was sick, there's no homework. His weekend will be perfect, nothing can spoil it. He looks over at his fishbowl and remembers the events of the night before, frowning he folds his arms. He wasn't going to apologise, it was Cosmo's fault. Although it may ruin the weekend, he'd rather spend his Saturday arguing than let Cosmo 'win'. At that moment, his fish open their eyes and poof into their normal form]  
  
Wanda: (extremely cheery) Good morning Timmy! It a beautiful day, isn't it Cosmo?  
  
Comso: (smiling) It sure is! I - [looks at Timmy and remembers their fight. His happy expression changes into a snarling frown] I mean...no...it's a horrible day. [Folds arms and turns his back on Timmy]  
  
Timmy: Good morning WANDA! How are you, WANDA?  
  
Wanda: (happily) I'm great thank-you! Why don't you ask Cosmo how he is?  
  
Timmy: (innocently) Cosmo who? I don't know anyone by that name! I don't have any friends by that name anyway...  
  
Cosmo: (realising Timmys game) Hey Wanda, who are you talking to? I don't see anyone here...  
  
Wanda: (attempting to break the tension) Hey - you know what I could really go for...[holds up video game case] a game of Space Mission Extreme, anyone else wanna play?  
  
Timmy: (excitedly) Sure Wanda, I'll play with you! I love that game!!!!  
  
Cosmo: I'll play with you Wanda! After all, I am a loving husband who would do anything for you and would definitely be on your side if you decided the kid in the silly pink hat was a really bad BEST BUDDY!  
  
Timmy: No, I'll play with you Wanda! After all, I am your loving God child who adores you sooooo much and would do anything or you, even if your husband is a big mean moron who doesn't see the sophistication of pink hats....  
  
Cosmo: [glaring fiercely at Timmy] Don't let your mouth write a cheque your little body can't sign!  
  
Timmy: (quietly to himself) Morons-say-what....  
  
Cosmo: (confused) What?  
  
Timmy: HA! MORON!!   
  
Cosmo: Don't use your witty 10 year old intellect to try and make me look stupid!  
  
Timmy: Idiots-say-what....  
  
Cosmo: What?  
  
Timmy: HA! IDIOT!  
  
Cosmo: (fuming) Hey! How did you...Did you....AHHH! STOP CONFUSING ME!  
  
Timmy: Well it's not really a challenge...(excited) Anyway Wanda, let's play Space Mission Extreme, the most awesome game ever!!!!  
  
Wanda: Hey! You know what, I sprained my finger after some wand exercises last night, I don't think I can play...maybe you should play with Cosmo....  
  
Timmy: (suddenly not excited) You know what? Space Mission Extreme is REALLY lame. I don't like it that much. Anyway, I'm kinda busy today.   
  
[Timmy sits on his bed, staring straight ahead completely unoccupied. The wind is heard blowing and the room goes silent. Everyone watches as a tumbleweed rolls past. Wanda frowns at him]  
  
Timmy: Yeah...well....I gotta de-tumbleweed my room anyway....  
  
Cosmo: (sarcastic) Wow, he sure is a fun one to be around.  
  
Timmy: Hey Cosmo, I have a joke! What's green and stupid?  
  
Cosmo: (suspicious of where this going) I don't know.  
  
Timmy: YOU! Now, what's pink and stupid!  
  
Cosmo: Uh...Cotton candy with an extremely low IQ?  
  
Timmy: No! It's you in disguise!  
  
Cosmo: DUH! You told that joke completely wrong! Where's the fluff? (realising) Wait...was that a cheap shot at me? Why I oughta.....  
  
[Wanda looks at the two arguing and laughs nervously. She tries to change the subject]  
  
Wanda: Hey Cosmo, what do you like about Timmy?  
  
Cosmo: (frowning) Uh let me see.....NOTHING!  
  
Wanda: Don't be silly Cosmo...there must be SOMETHING.  
  
Cosmo: (smiling) Yeah there is one thing actually...  
  
Wanda: (surprised) Really? (casually) I mean...Yeah. And what's that?  
  
Cosmo: (smiling) Well I really like it when...TIMMY'S NOT AROUND!  
  
[Wanda slaps her hand against her head in frustration and notices Timmy is fuming. She holds him back as he attempts to jump on Cosmo]  
  
Timmy: LET ME AT HIM! LET ME AT HIM!  
  
Cosmo: [sticking his tongue out] Can't catch me! Nerrrrrr!  
  
[Wanda holds up her wands and poofs them both into little cat carrier cases. They struggle and protest, the cases bounce up and down and they are still arguing]  
  
Wanda: (sighing) I thought you boys would have forgotten this silly fight by now. You're both acting extremely immature. My book said if I acted like it never happened and then later encouraged you to talk about it then it may help.  
  
Timmy: Hey Wanda, if you act like it never happened but make us talk about it, how can you talk about something that never happened? Isn't the book contradicting itself?  
  
Cosmo: I don't understand!  
  
Timmy: (sarcastic) Shocking.  
  
Wanda: Uhhh...  
  
[Wanda flicks through the book urgently trying to find the correct chapter. She fails and throws it over her shoulder]  
  
Wanda: Well never mind the book right now! Can't you two just apologise and carry on like you were before?  
  
Timmy: Nope.  
  
Cosmo: Never!!!  
  
Wanda: But what about your video games! And your belching contests...OK those I won't miss as much. But you had so much fun together! What about your shared love of junk food and comic books? And doing those stupid impressions of me?  
  
Cosmo: You knew about those??!  
  
Wanda: (angrily) Of course I knew! Late expressions I'm fond of I often lack - what was that?! But we'll talk about that later. What about all those evil gobananatrons in Space Mission Extreme, you can't let them taking over the world!   
  
Timmy: For the record, it's pronounced 'gonanatrom, and I'd rather live in a world full of them than defeat them with Cosmo!  
  
Cosmo: What he said! Only with 'Timmy' in place of Cosmo!  
  
Wanda: Cosmo, you're thousands of years old! Surely you've got the maturity to forgive Timmy and be the bigger man!  
  
Cosmo: (angry) Oohh sure, be on his side! I always knew you liked him better! You're my wife! I'M SUPPOSED TO BE YOUR FAVOURITE! I don't need this abuse! I'm leaving you!   
  
[Cosmo poofs out of his cat carrier and glares at Wanda, before disappearing into thin air. Wanda is left confused, just blinking with a neutral expression]  
  
3.2 seconds later...  
  
[Cosmo reappears]  
  
Cosmo: Wanda! I'm sorry! I LOVE YOU! I can't live without you! Don't leave me! I neeeeed you please! Promise you won't leave me!  
  
[He holds her tight. Wanda's face slowly turns blue, she waves her arms]  
  
Wanda: (short of breath) Cosmo...I love you too...but you're....squeezing my lungs...can't breathe...  
  
Cosmo: [drops her] Whoopsie! Sorry!  
  
Wanda: OK, I'm determined to find out how the fight started, and maybe we'll make progress from there. I will ask you both to tell me what happened and why you're angry, then hopefully we'll work something out.  
  
[She poofs Timmy out of his carrier case]  
  
Wanda: Does that sound fair?  
  
Timmy: I guess.  
  
Cosmo: Yes. I'm willing to be mature enough to discuss this like an adult.  
  
Wanda: OK Cosmo, you go first...  
  
Cosmo: I'M THE FAVOURITE! - [points finger inches away from Timmy] In your face, TURNER!  
  
Timmy: (deadpan) Shut up, Cosmo.  
  
Wanda: (sighs) Cosmo...just tell me what happened... 


	3. Chapter 3 And That's Exactly What Happen...

I don't own the Fairly Odd Parents! Timmy, Wanda, Cosmo, Timmy's parents and any other character from the show was not created by me. I am just borrowing them for a fun, non profit story. They belong to Butch Hartman!!  
  
Enjoy! Please R&R  
  
Cosmo vs Timmy - The Battle: This time....it's trivial!  
  
Chapter 3 - And That's Exactly What Happened, Officer Wanda  
  
[Cosmo stretches his limbs and breathes deeply, he makes silly noises with his mouth in a weird 'voice warm-up' attempt]  
  
Cosmo: I will tell you exactly how it happened....  
  
!FLASHBACK!  
  
[Back to yesterday: Timmy and Cosmo are back playing their video game, Wanda is on her way out...]  
  
Past Wanda: No...I shouldn't worry. I highly doubt you'll even move from this spot....Goodbye Cosmo, my handsome, charming, funny and delicious hunk of a husband who I think about 24/7...  
  
[Wanda poofs out]  
  
!FLASHBACK INTERRUPTION!  
  
Wanda: Hey! I didn't say that!  
  
Cosmo: Well this is MY flashback, it's MY story.   
  
Wanda: Sorry.  
  
Cosmo: Yeah, in this story, You said what I said you said!  
  
Wanda: Huh?  
  
Cosmo: Nevermind. Just don't interrupt me!  
  
!FLASHBACK RESUMES!  
  
Past Cosmo: Timmy, thanks for covering for me back then! If Wanda found out about my impressions she'd pull off my head, and then she'd kill me! You're such a good friend!  
  
Past Timmy: (harshly) Shut up Cosmo. You mean nothing to me. I'm just a smelly jerk with no friends because everytime I get a friend I scare them away with my jerkiness!  
  
!FLASHBACK INTERRUPTION!   
  
Timmy: HEY!  
  
Cosmo: I SAID MY STORY!!  
  
!FLASHBACK RESUMES!  
  
Past Cosmo: Timmy! That was a bit harsh! However I will forgive and forget, after all, we are best buddies and I'm not willing for us to have a fight over something so silly...  
  
Past Timmy: Duhh...Cosmo's dumb! I'M REALLY MEAN!  
  
Past Cosmo: Are you feeling OK? Would you like some ice cream to make you feel better? Or candy? Or a trampoline? After all, I am your God parent and as your God parent, I will give you everything your heart desires. I'm just that nice. OOHH LOOK! MY FEET! COOL!  
  
Past Timmy: I don't want you to grant me any more wishes! I'm ungrateful and a jerk!!  
  
Past Cosmo: (near tears) But...But...Timmy.   
  
Past Timmy: But nothing! I am going to start an argument with you for no reason!  
  
Past Cosmo: You can't! I won't let you!  
  
Past Timmy: YOU SMELL! I DON'T LIKE YOU! YOU'RE STUPID AND GREEN!  
  
Past Cosmo: (cowering) Stop....Must...Resist...Argument......Can't...Upset...Wanda...  
  
Past Timmy: YOU'RE REALLY BAD AT GRANTING WISHES! YOUR CROWN IS ON WONKY!  
  
Past Cosmo: Please....stop!  
  
Past Timmy: YOUR PET CRICKET, JERRY, IS STUPID!  
  
Past Cosmo: (angry) You can make my fun my intelligence, the fact that I'm green, my wishing ability and the fact that my crown isn't on straight...BUT NEVER INSULT MY JERRY!  
  
Past Timmy: Jerry....sucks.  
  
Past Cosmo: OK...NOW IT'S PERSONAL!  
  
Past Timmy: Bring it on, greenie!  
  
Past Cosmo: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! WE'RE HAVING A STUPID FIGHT OVER SOMETHING TRIVIAL WHICH WILL LEAD TO US NOT TALKING AND HATING THE SIGHT OF EACH OTHER!  
  
!END FLASHBACK!  
  
Cosmo: .....and that's exactly what happened. Timmy started being a jerk and insulted poor innocent Jerry, I had to defend him. THE END!  
  
Timmy: You're the world's biggest liar! Everytime I get a friend I scare them away with my jerkiness?! What was that?  
  
Cosmo: So perhaps I have forgotten some of the exact dialogue, it's not like people remember every single word said in an argument. I'm sure you said something about you being a jerk though, and bullying poor Jerry!!  
  
Timmy: That's it! TIME FOR MY STORY!  
  
!FLASHBACK!  
  
[Back to yesterday: Timmy and Cosmo are back playing their video game, Wanda is on her way out...]  
  
!FLASHBACK INTERRUPTION!  
  
Cosmo: That's not right at all! LIAR!  
  
Timmy: What! I haven't even said anything yet!  
  
Cosmo: I know my butt isn't as big as you imagine it to be!  
  
Timmy: Whatever! As I was saying!  
  
!FLASHBACK RESUMES!  
  
[Timmy and Cosmo are back playing their video game, there's a sudden POP noise and Cosmo's butt is smaller]  
  
Past Wanda: No...I shouldn't worry. I highly doubt you'll even move from this spot....Goodbye Timmy, you're so awesome and super cool. And Cosmo...ermm....GOODBYE!  
  
[Wanda poofs out]  
  
Past Cosmo: (sarcastically) Timmy, thanks for covering for me back then! You're such a good friend!  
  
Past Timmy: Why the sarcasm, buddy? Are you feeling alright? I could always wish you had some ice cream or candy to make you feel better?  
  
Past Cosmo: No...shut up. The sarcasm implied you're NOT a good friend and I DIDN'T appreciate your help, don't you understand?!  
  
Past Timmy: Yeah I get sarcasm. I just wanted to make sure you felt OK and find out why you're mad at me?  
  
Past Cosmo: I'm mad at you because I'm jealous of your super amazing video game skills, it's soooo irritating not being able to beat you or to defeat as much alien scum as you, I'm just a selfish, mean, stupid green fairy who can't let anyone do anything better than me. OOHH LOOK! MY FEET! COOL!  
  
Past Timmy: Cosmo I can always give you some pointers on Space Mission Extreme. After all, I know how a best buddy should behave and am always willing to look out for you. Do you feel the same about me?  
  
Past Cosmo: No. I'm so jealous of how perfect you are that now I hate you. I have decided to argue with you now.  
  
Past Timmy: Argue? That won't solve anything, Cosmo. I am the more mature and intelligent one, that is how I know this.  
  
Past Cosmo: I would fire amazingly nasty insults at you, but I'm too stupid to think of any good ones. The best I have is 'you suck'. Timmy, you suck.  
  
Past Timmy: I'm hurt Cosmo, but I refuse to sink to your level. How is Jerry the cricket doing? I love that little guy. If Cosmo ever told a stupid made up story to Wanda about how I insulted Jerry, it would be all lies. I love Jerry.  
  
Past Cosmo: Then I'll just carry on trying to make up clever insults, until I fail miserably within five seconds and go chase something shiny I saw in the corner - that is all my brain can do.  
  
Past Timmy: Cosmo, don't be so hard on yourself.  
  
Past Cosmo: Your hat is silly.  
  
Past Timmy: Cosmo, please don't insult my hat -  
  
Past Cosmo: It's pink. And it's silly.  
  
Past Timmy: Cosmo, stop -  
  
Past Cosmo: It's a girl hat.  
  
Past Timmy: I'M SORRY COSMO, YOU HAVE FORCED ME TO SNAP! PLEASE TRY AND RESTRAIN YOURSELF!  
  
Past Cosmo: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! WE'RE HAVING A STUPID FIGHT OVER SOMETHING TRIVIAL WHICH WILL LEAD TO US NOT TALKING AND HATING THE SIGHT OF EACH OTHER!  
  
!END FLASHBACK!  
  
Timmy: .....and that's exactly what happened. Cosmo was jealous of my video game skills and just snapped for no reason. I tried to be the bigger man and calm him down, but then he insulted my hat. I love this hat, I had to show him it was out of line. I also didn't insult Jerry.  
  
Cosmo: That story really stank! I think you may have ruined my love of storytime forever! AND I NEVER SAID ANYTHING ABOUT YOUR STUPID HAT!  
  
Timmy: (shouting) YOUR STORY WAS A LIE!  
  
Cosmo: (shouting louder) YOUR STORY WAS A BIG, FAT LIE!  
  
Timmy: YOUR STORY WAS A BIG FAT LIE WITH BELLS ON!  
  
Cosmo: WELL YOUR STORY WAS A BIG, FAT LIE WITH BELLS ON AND -  
  
Wanda: BOTH OF YOUR STORIES WERE LIES!  
  
[Cosmo and Timmy stop arguing and turn to Wanda, who is going red in the face]  
  
Wanda: Those stories were the biggest lies I ever heard! And I'm thousands of years old! It's no wonder Timmy failed creative writing last month, and then failed again this month after Cosmo helped! They were so terrible!  
  
[Cosmo and Timmy hang their heads in shame]  
  
Cosmo Timmy: (unison) Sorry, Wanda.  
  
Wanda: So, was there anything genuine in those stories?  
  
Cosmo: Maybe I did add in some extra details, but its still pretty much the truth!  
  
Wanda: How much is pretty much?  
  
Cosmo: Uh...I'd rather not say.  
  
Wanda: And Timmy? What do you have to say for yourself?  
  
Timmy: Maybe I...embelished...and I do use that term sorta loosely...  
  
Wanda: How loosely?  
  
Timmy: Uh...I'd rather not say either.  
  
Wanda: That was the biggest pack of lies I've ever heard! Why can't you tell the truth!  
  
Cosmo: The truth is....Timmy's a big jerk!  
  
Timmy: Well Cosmo is a moron with a limited vocabulary!  
  
Cosmo: You leave my academic skills out of this!  
  
Wanda: I thought if I found out what happened maybe it would help! But it just made it worse! Can't you two just be friends?! It's really sad to see the two people I love the most in the world arguing over something so small and trivial! You give me such a headache!  
  
[Wanda's lip quivers on the verge of tears. Very upset, she poofs into the fishbowl. Cosmo and Timmy stand silently for a minute, very ashamed]  
  
Cosmo: Now look what you've done!  
  
Timmy: What are you talking about? This is YOUR fault!  
  
Cosmo: My fault?! She's crying 'cos of you!  
  
Timmy: No...you!  
  
Wanda: [from the fishbowl] I CAN SETTLE THIS, IT'S BOTH OF YOUR FAULTS! NOW BE QUIET!  
  
Cosmo: (whispers) Your fault.  
  
....  
  
The next chapter brings something that forces Cosmo and Timmy to work together again, there may be horrible consequences if they don't put their differences aside...o0o0o0o0! 


	4. Chapter 4 Alien Food

I don't own the Fairly Odd Parents! Timmy, Wanda, Cosmo, Timmy's parents and any other character from the show was not created by me. I am just borrowing them for a fun, non profit story. They belong to Butch Hartman!!  
  
Enjoy! Please R&R  
  
Cosmo vs Timmy - The Battle: This time....it's trivial!  
  
Chapter 4 - Alien Food  
  
[Wanda poofs into the bedroom giggling. She's holding her "Analysing Fairy Behaviour" book and looking very pleased with herself]  
  
Wanda: Ha! That worked perfectly! Using emotional blackmail I forced Timmy and Cosmo to feel bad about their fighting and hopefully apologise to each other! They're out in the yard now, hopefully talking things out! Is it evil that I manipulated the two people I love the most into thinking I was heartbroken for my own gain? Hmmm...Not really! In the words of Freud: This book is sooooo cool! Now, what to do with this rare time alone......  
  
[Wanda giggles to herself and notices Timmy left "Space Mission Extreme" on his games console. She looks around the room for a second, then whistles to herself]  
  
Wanda: I'm going to find out what all the fuss about this game is. Anyone got a problem with that?  
  
[Wanda looks to see if there are any objections. Of course there aren't. Smiling, she starts playing, only to here "Game Over" music a few seconds later]  
  
Wanda: (Annoyed) This game is hard.  
  
[She tries again, only to fail. Annoyed, she bangs the floor in frustration]  
  
Wanda: Well this sucks...But I refuse to let this thing beat me! Maybe if I go into the game and play it first hand I'll get a better idea of how to do it. It's not like I'll get into danger, but if I do, I have my trusty wand to poof myself out again!  
  
[She poofs herself into the game]  
  
Wanda: (amazed) OOhh...Digital Wanda....! Wait, did I really just say that? I spend way too much time with Cosmo.  
  
[Seconds later Wanda is surrounded by aliens, spaceships and the evil "gonanatroms". She raises her wand.]  
  
Wanda: Aghh! On second thought I think I'm more of a Ms PacMan player!  
  
[As Wanda raises her wand to escape the game, a nearby alien grabs it from her hand and flings her into a space age cage. She thinks very hard, her face emotionless]  
  
Wanda: [thinking] Well I have considered every single scenario that can lead from this event, and none of them have happy endings.   
  
....  
  
[Timmy wanders into his bedroom, Cosmo hovering by his side. Despite Wanda's attempts, they are STILL arguing and STILL angry]  
  
Cosmo: .....and that's what animal you smell like!  
  
Timmy: Oh yeah! If we're going to talk about who stinks, you really.. - Wait, who left my video game on?  
  
Cosmo: (confused) Who let my video game on? What animal is that? Does it stink?  
  
Timmy: NOOO! Look, someone's playing Space Mission Extreme!  
  
[They move forward for a closer look]  
  
Timmy: Still on level 1, amateurs...  
  
Cosmo: Even I'm better than that.. - Hey, that alien kinda looks like Wanda?  
  
Timmy: Yeah, you're right...  
  
Cosmo: Ohh there's a first time for everything. Hey wait, THAT IS WANDA! WANDA! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!  
  
Wanda: Oh thank goodness you're here! I'll explain later! Just please let me out!  
  
[Cosmo raises his wand but nothing happens]  
  
Cosmo: Agghh! IT'S NOT WORKING!   
  
[Cosmo tries and fails again]  
  
Cosmo: [hugging the TV] Wanda! Noooo! I love you! We gotta help her!  
  
Timmy: You're right. I'll play the game and save her!  
  
Cosmo: No, I'll save her!  
  
Timmy: No, I WILL!  
  
Cosmo: She's MY wife!  
  
Timmy: Shes MY God parent!  
  
[Timmy and Cosmo wrestle with the game controls. Inside the game, aliens are heading for Wanda's cage]  
  
Wanda: ONE OF YOU! HELLO!?  
  
Timmy: But who?! I'm better!  
  
Wanda: Both of you then!  
  
Cosmo: We can't! We hate each other!  
  
Wanda: Can't you put your differences aside just for now! If you waste anymore time fighting I could be alien dinner!  
  
Timmy: She's right. We have to help! Cosmo, you're best at dodging the zybatrons, take care of them.  
  
Cosmo: Right, and you show the gonanatroms who's boss! Come on Timmy, we can do it!  
  
Timmy: Yeah, we're a team.  
  
Cosmo: (smiling) We sure are.  
  
Timmy: (weakening) Cosmo. I'm sorry I said all those things about you...I didn't mean it. I was just mad. I don't think you're stupid.  
  
Cosmo: That's OK. I'm sorry I called you a jerk, you're not a jerk at all. And you're not a smelly bucktoothed ape either.  
  
Timmy: That's OK, I'm just glad - Wait, you called me a smelly bucktoothed ape?  
  
Cosmo: Well, not to your face!  
  
[They laugh for a second before embracing in a hug. Everything is fine again]  
  
Timmy: Let's forget what was said, who cares who started it. It's over now.  
  
Cosmo: Sure thing, best buddy. [More hugging]  
  
Wanda: (touched) I'm so glad you boys are friends again, that was touching, it really was. But there's one thing you forgot about....(screaming) HELLO! ALIEN FOOD HERE! LESS TALKING MORE PLAYING!  
  
Timmy: Oh yeah, sorry!  
  
[Cosmo and Timmy high five and put on their 'game faces'. They concentrate and there's a wild mess of button pressing and cheering each other on]  
  
Cosmo: Timmy! Gonanatrom up ahead!  
  
Timmy: I'm out of ammo! You have to take this one!  
  
Cosmo: (shocked) But..But...  
  
Timmy: You have to! Do it for Wanda! I know you can do it Cosmo! I know you can! Do it for Wanda!  
  
Cosmo: (concentrating) Wanda...  
  
[Cosmo presses a few buttons at extreme speeds, suddenly, the truimphant music plays!! They've won!! The boys jump into the air and do a 'victory dance']  
  
Timmy: We did it! [sings] We won! We won! We won! We, We, We won! We won! We won! We won! We, We, We won! Cosmo, you were great!  
  
Cosmo: Yeah! I got my first Gonanatrom! Wooooooo! I couldn't have done it without you Timmy!  
  
Timmy: Well I was actually talking about saving Wanda, but that was good too!  
  
Cosmo: Wanda!  
  
[There's a loud poof and Wanda is released from the TV]  
  
Wanda: Yay! I'm not digital anymore!  
  
Cosmo Timmy: WANDA!  
  
[The three embrace each other]  
  
Cosmo: I thought I lost you for a second! Don't ever be that stupid again! It was that stupid book that led you to that game, wasn't it?  
  
Wanda: Actually no, I was bored and -  
  
Cosmo: I knew it! DUMB BOOK! I forbid you from reading it ever again!  
  
Wanda: You know what, maybe it is more trouble than it's worth. [Poofs out the book and then a shredder, then tosses the book mindlessly into it] I don't need a book to tell me what my boys are like! I love them and that's all that counts!  
  
Timmy: Wooo! I love stupid endings the writer makes up within three minutes!  
  
Cosmo: Timmy, let's never fight again!  
  
Timmy: Deal!  
  
13.7 seconds later....  
  
[Timmy and Wanda are wrestling]  
  
Timmy: You stupid pink fairy! You are a controlling, bossy, loud -  
  
Wanda: YOU BETTER STOP RIGHT THERE IF YOU WANT TO KEEP YOUR TEETH!  
  
Timmy: BRING IT ON! PINKY!  
  
Cosmo: Maybe I should have said Timmy AND Wanda, let's never fight again. Maybe I should stop them....  
  
[Cosmo's attention is caught by the video games console]  
  
Cosmo: ....Right after one game of Space Mission Extreme...or 3.  
  
!!!THE END!!!! 


	5. Chapter 5 What Really Happened

I don't own the Fairly Odd Parents! Timmy, Wanda, Cosmo, Timmy's parents and any other character from the show was not created by me. I am just borrowing them for a fun, non profit story. They belong to Butch Hartman!!  
  
Enjoy! Please R&R  
  
Cosmo vs Timmy - The Battle: This time....it's trivial!  
  
Chapter 5 - The Truth  
  
If you're curious what really started off Cosmo and Timmy...I warn you, it's a stupid fight. Still want to read? Whatever, your funeral...  
  
[Wanda has just left and Cosmo and Timmy are concentrating on their game, discussing important, intelligent subjects...]  
  
Cosmo: You know I think cheesburgers are the greatest food ever.  
  
Timmy: Huh? No way...It's totally hotdogs.  
  
Cosmo: Nah, I think cheeseburgers. Whoever thought of putting beef and cheese together must be some kind of super genius! I bet they live in a cheeseburger shaped mansion and little intelligent cheeseburgers with feet tend to their every will...like little fast food fairy God parents...Wow...what a cool job....  
  
Timmy: Cosmo, as interesting as your cheeseburger story is. Hotdogs are way cooler. Don't deny it.  
  
Cosmo: Ha! Don't think so. Cheeseburgers are the greatest food ever. End of story.  
  
Timmy: (slightly angered) Um...HOTDOGS!  
  
Cosmo: (raising voice) No, CHEESEBURGERS!  
  
Timmy: (screaming) HOTDOGS!  
  
Cosmo: (shouting) Three words, CHEESEBURGERS!  
  
Timmy: No WAY!  
  
Cosmo: Ohh look! MY FEET! COOL! I mean....CHEESEBURGERS!  
  
Timmy: HOT....DOGS!  
  
[They drop the game and exchange hard stares]  
  
Cosmo: (shouting) AHHHHH! WE'RE HAVING A STUPID FIGHT OVER SOMETHING TRIVIAL WHICH WILL LEAD TO US NOT TALKING AND HATING THE SIGHT OF EACH OTHER!  
  
.....  
  
What? I told you it was trivial. You should have believed me. Cosmo and Timmy admitted they embelished.... 


End file.
